Friday, February 28, 2014

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Dear Brody,

You turned one today.  I can't believe it has been a year already.  Your mom sent me pictures of you smashing your cake.  It looked like you were having a blast!  After the way you were about the cookie when I saw you in December I am sure you were in heaven with a whole cake in front of you!  And, ok, it's so not fair how photogenic you are. :) You take the cutest pictures.  You look like a professional model at one year old-its crazy.  I guess I can take some credit for that since I made you.  You are already walking-good job!  You are getting through several milestones already.  Potty training-that one is going to be fun.  I see you doing well at that one too though.

I've also had a lot happen in the past year and overcome a lot.  I ran a 5k...with obstacles; it was a lot of work, but really fun.  I started a new wonderful full-time job!  I went over a year without dating-and enjoyed it!  Then I met a guy and am in the first healthy, happy, balanced, Godly relationship I've ever had.  It's a very nice change.  He's pretty awesome.  He treats me amazingly well!   

I have a wonderful support group.  My boyfriend, friends, family, and co-workers all asked how I was with today being your birthday.  Joanna and Aunt Susie are in the hospital and they even thought of me.  That was incredibly sweet!  I greatly appreciate my loved ones and how supportive they have been through all of this.  I miss you every single day.  Your birthday is another day that I miss you and wish I could see you and play with you and make you laugh.  However, I can't do that everyday.  But someone is-you are laughing and playing and you feel safe and loved and secure and happy.  So, although it's not easy being away from you.  I am ok.  God did a powerful, permanent healing work in my heart.  That doesn't mean I don't love you or miss you or think about you-because I do.  It just means that I have peace about where you are.  I hope that makes sense to you.  

I am so excited about all of your birthdays to come.  I can't wait to see how you change and grow each year!  I love you so much!  Happy Birthday sweet boy!  



Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Saturday, December 28, 2013

Dear Brody,

I saw you today!!!  You were sooo adorable!!  I took you and your brother a present. The night before I asked what each of you liked.  Your mom told me that you liked anything that lights up and has buttons on it.  I thought to myself, "Me too!!"  haha!  You seemed to like the present, you played with yours and your brothers.  

You were so cute!  You are a people watcher for sure.  I'm really nosy too.  Seriously. Ask anyone.  But yeah, any time there was any movement anywhere, you were scoping out the situation.  You were also serious about some food.  You're brother had a cookie and you were staring it down!  It was funny.  

You let me hold you and kiss you and tell you I loved you.  You were smiling the whole time.  You were so precious!  I am so excited to see you grow into a little boy and a then a young man and then a man.  It's going to be a beautiful journey! 

You are soo precious!  And that time with you was precious.  I missed you so much as soon as we left.  It was bittersweet.  My biggest concern is and always will be your happiness and well-being.  It was so great to see you happy, and to see you feel safe and loved.   That is priceless to me.  I didn't want to leave you though.  You are so precious and I love you so much.  You light up the room with life and laughter and love.  I didn't want to be away from you.  But I knew it was necessary.  However, I still have peace because you are well taken care of.  You have a beautiful family.  You are so loved and so adored by so many.

I hope you know that even though I am not around often, I think of you everyday.  I love you with all my heart.  I miss you at every moment.  I don't worry about you though.  You are in great hands, and that gives my heart joy.

I love you so much and I can't wait to see you again next year.  I hate that I have to wait a year-but I am soo blessed to get that time with you and I cherish every second of it.  I love you.

Love always,